Jesus
gives us two key commands in relation to parents. The first is to leave your
mother and father to follow him (Mathew 10:34-37), and the second is to honour
them (Mathew 15:4-6). The understanding of these two
commandments and subsequent application to your life, will equip you for success
and harmony in all relationships.
Leaving
your mother and father to follow Jesus means to turn away from the generational
curse of sin. It is widely known today, that children model their parents.
As we age, we realize that we modeled our parents even when we swore that we
would not. As a baby, the first person you see and know to depend on is a
parent. Even if your parents are Christian, they are likely to in the
process of being sanctified by the Lord. That is to say they still
draw on the independent self as their source rather than the Lord in many
areas of their lives.
To honour your mother and
father, simply put, means to accept and respect them. Overcoming dishonouring of
parents will set you free of repeating the pattern and enable you to have loving
relationships. With the Lords help, you will come to a place where you can
accept your parents as they are, forgive them, and repent of any self centered characteristics
you modeled. If we cannot accept our parents as they are, we cannot accept
ourselves as we are. And if we cannot accept ourselves as we are, we will
strive to be better instead of allowing Jesus to change us.
The first
step is to switch your dependence for love and approval from man to God.
Focus on Jesus. That is the leaving your parents piece.
The
second step is to forgive. This can be a process. The forgiveness must
come from the heart. Sometimes we think we've forgiven when we really
haven't, because our worldly understanding of this is conditional. So
examine your heart for a sense of warmth and peace. This is the fruit of
unconditional forgiveness, that which will set you free. If you find
anger, apathy or hurt, continue to pray for the necessary revelation to attain
true forgiveness. If you catch yourself wanting to change something in
them so you can forgive, keep praying. Pray for what needs to change in
you. It's all about you... you and your relationship with God... to be
able to serve God over self. All else will be given unto you.