"You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust."  Mathew 5:43-45 NKJV  Jesus goes on to tell us in verses 46-47 that we are no different from the non-believer if we do not love our enemies.  Anyone can love a friend.

We can define enemies as those who attack us mentally, emotionally or physically… those who oppose us because we do not measure up to their criteria.  They can be parents, peers, children, organizations and even whole countries.   To the degree that we have enemies, we become an enemy.  “Those two are enemies.”  We also become our own enemy when we agree with those who cannot love and accept us.  As a child, we look to our parents for love and acceptance.  If love is conditional upon performance, a child will internalize work for worth.

So we can have enemies and be an enemy simultaneously.  We are bound in an endless cycle of action and reaction.  We take on bitterness, anger, resentment and hatred toward others and shame, guilt, unworthiness toward ourselves.   All our energy goes either toward striving for love and approval, or to rebellion and war.   

The people who have the most power to hurt us are, of course, those most dear.  In our fallen nature, when someone close attacks us, our belief that we are loveable is immediately challenged.  We are manipulated and controlled by the withdrawal of love, or we control others by removing our love.  God designed us to need love and God and God alone is our source.  If we are not connected to God, we have not love to give.  Instead, we are needy and attempt to draw worship from others, which lead us into bondage.  We want to be admired, looked up to, be popular, and so on. 

Is the importance of loving our enemies is becoming crystal clear?  I am in bondage to the people I seek to draw love from.  They have power over me.  Their problem is my problem.  I’m a puppet on their strings.  To divorce myself from my source of anguish changes nothing.  I merely seek to get my needs met from someone or something else, perpetuating the cycle of self-righteousness, blame, shame and unworthiness.

Yet Jesus calls us to repentance, not to make others repent.  I may be perfectly justified in my complaint.  I may have been legitimately abused.  And my abuser-accuser deserves to be punished for his or her crimes against me.  However, as a follower of Jesus, we are to submit our enemies to the Lord to deal with in any way He sees fit.  In that, my problem ceases to be between me and my enemy, but between God and my enemy.  I need to repent of my reaction, my need to justify and protect myself, my anger, resentment, and hurt.  I need to forgive without an agenda and transfer my love-needs from man to God.  This frees me up to love my enemies. 

For example:  I had a mother-in-law who gave negativity a whole new meaning.  She was really mean.  As a young bride, I naturally wanted my in-laws to accept me.  I could not understand why she hated me on site, as she didn’t even know me.  When she would visit, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.  Some of you may relate to this.  She couldn’t be pleased.  If I was home she wanted to know why I wasn’t working and if I worked, who was taking care of the kids.  I was dammed if I did and dammed if I didn’t.    I tried everything I could think of to get her to accept me and she just wouldn’t.  This went on for 10 years.  Although she lived in another province, when she came it was unannounced… no consideration.  While she was in our home, she would discipline my children without my permission.  She even refused to eat my cooking, which was pretty good… would starve herself for days.  I was seriously offended.  She had tremendous power over me.

One day when she arrived, I bottomed out with this.  I confessed to the Lord that I just hated her.  Up until that moment, I was too busy trying to get her to like me to even be in touch with how I felt.  I let go my need to change her so I could love her, because I was supposed to love her and could not.  So I accepted that I hated her when I confessed.  When I have let go of my judgment against myself for having unacceptable feelings, I stop striving to change the way I feel.  Then the Lord can change me, and He does.  We try to make ourselves righteous, instead of letting the Lord do it.

That day she lost all her power over me.  What a release.  All my feelings of anger and hurt vanished as Jesus delivered me.  I needed nothing from her now.  That night, I cooked up our usual dinner instead of trying to find something she liked.  We sat down to eat and she started.  I was undisturbed by her antics.  In fact, rather than take offence, her behaviour appeared somewhat amusing to me.  I could barely contain myself from laughing out loud.  I was experiencing Psalm 23:5  “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”  The next day when she got up, she was almost nice.  The devil in her left, for lack of anyone to torment.

Over the next few years I came to love her and understand her.   I no longer had any investment as to whether or not she changed.  What was fascinated me was this:  The dropping in unannounced was cultural.  If someone drops in, put another potato in the pot.  That’s just what you do.  A Ukrainian grandmother, as it turns out, had the same rights as the mother, and therefore takes her position as a disciplinarian.   How different we see things from the Lord’s perspective.   She not only began to eat my cooking, she complimented me on it.  I was awestruck at the work the Lord had done in her.

Jesus went through far more that I ever did.  There He was on the cross crying out, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 KJV  They were blinded, as I was with mom-in-law.  Those who crucified Him were reacting out of their fallen nature to a potential threat.  Jesus was a security risk.

We need to touch briefly on the scripture that tells us not to be yoked together with unbelievers. “For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NIV  We can love but not unite (or be yoked) with someone.  The Lord loves us while we are in sin, but cannot unite with us.   We have to repent in order to unite with Him. 

Let us fix our eyes on the prize that is set before us.  Let us reach for the high calling in Christ Jesus.   It’s a very high calling.  The path is narrow and few find it, scripture tells us.  Loving our enemies goes against everything in us that cries out for justice.   But if we are willing to sacrifice ourselves, our rights, our hopes, our dreams; if we are willing to do that, Jesus will give us His life.  In His supernatural love, we will know the freedom and joy of loving our enemies.

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